| Written by Ronnie |
After we lost Cameron, Rick and I both wanted six more children. It wasn't an agreement that we arrived at after a long, heartfelt discussion. It was a desire that we both felt - individually and independently of each other.
However, now that I am pregnant with our sixth child, we have both experienced a change of heart.
For better or for worse, this will be our last baby.
This is something that I know with both certainty and amazing clarity.
This has taken me by surprise somewhat, but I guess you reach a stage when your body just knows.
Your heart knows. You know.
I spent the better half of last year grieving the thought of not having anymore children. It was a heart-wrenching process that took me completely by surprise. I always knew that it would be hard to say, "That's it," but I never realised just how painful it would be. It was a lonely experience too - most people simply dismissed my feelings by pointing out how many children we already had.
But perhaps because I grieved so deeply last year, I feel nothing but peace and contentment in the here and now.
And so, I shall cherish every moment and celebrate every milestone of this last pregnancy.
Just as I cherished every moment and celebrated every milestone of our first...
You can read the other posts in this series here.